The Worst Thing About Non-Americans

A cultural analysis of modern conversation

Look up "The worst thing about Americas," and you'll find enough articles and videos to last you a month's worth of wasted time. Too much fast food, too many guns, too polarised, too overrated, too backwards, too much imperial system nonsense, too individualistic, too many racist cops, too shitty at non-American geography unless there's a war, and too smiley. 

Touché. Actually, touché isn't the right word because that'd imply everything just came from an opponent at my expense. I'm not American. Well, technically, I am. I was born in Chile and have a Canadian passport, meaning I'm part of the Americas in two ways.

But when people talk shit about Americans, they're really only talking about 'Mericans. And sometimes Canadians, because let's face it, we're not that different. We have universal health care, toonies, and loonies, but if it weren't for our desperate attempt to separate ourselves with little maple leaf pins on our travel bags, nobody could tell us apart. We're truck-driving, strip-mall-goin' consumers who don't bother to speak more than one language unless we're immigrants. Oh, wait, we're all immigrants. Sometimes, we forget that. What I mean to say is first or second-generation immigrants. 

But what's the worst thing about Non-Americans?

Is it our lack of helmets and pads in football? Our hypocrisy of hating American culture while consuming it everywhere? Our audacity to call Americans dumb, although they've created the most intellectually prosperous country in the world? Or is it our pretentious way of saying "America lacks culture" while ignoring the hundreds of languages spoken by indigenous populations throughout history?

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