Why Do We Accept Our Reality as the Uncontested Truth?
Building a more accurate and compassionate reality.
We, my friends, are data sponges, mopping up fragments of the world and stitching them together into an itchy-ass quilt we call “reality.” Then, because human brains love a good shortcut, we treat that limited, biased quilt as if it’s the definitive tapestry of existence. It’s not.
We’re all born in a particular time and place, stumbling along narrow paths of experience. From these crumbs of perception, we build our internal models of the world. Yet, instead of pausing to question what we’re missing, we double down, acting as if our perceptions are the gospel truth.
Luckily, we have tools to challenge our myopia. Science, art, and literature are the cheat codes that let us peek beyond the limits of our experience, offering glimpses of alternative perspectives. The sooner we embrace this, the better equipped we are to address the conflicts and misunderstandings that stem from our narrow worldviews.
Your Brain: A Custom Reality Generator
When you were born, your brain wasn’t exactly showroom-ready. Genetics gave you the blueprint, but your life experiences did the heavy lifting, wiring up your brain as you encountered family, culture, and the occasional existential crisis. Everything from your childhood neighbourhood to your teen band wet dream sculpted your perception of the world.
What’s fascinating—and slightly unnerving—is how this customization process means no two brains perceive reality the same way. For example, if I tell you to imagine a group of sweaty middle-aged men downing beers at 9 am every Friday morning, you might perceive the words related to homeless alcoholics, while I see a vivid movie of healthy Spanish mountain bikers sitting in a restaurant terrace below my balcony.
This variability has inspired the emerging field of perceptual genomics, which studies how slight tweaks in our DNA influence how we see and interpret the world. Essentially, your genetic cocktail doesn’t just decide your eye colour; it helps shape the lens through which you view reality itself.
Tribal Brains: Why We’re Obsessed with Us vs. Them
Now, let’s talk about our inner caveperson. Your brain is a finely tuned machine for spotting allies and enemies, a trait that helped our ancestors survive in small tribes. Fast-forward to today, and this wiring still drives us to form ingroups and outgroups—whether it’s based on nationality, religion, or your preference for Marvel/Disney over DC/HBO Plus.
Here’s where it gets darker than the DC world: your empathy levels shift depending on which group someone belongs to. Neuroscientists tested this by putting participants in a brain scanner and showing them hands labelled with different group affiliations—Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Scientologist, Atheist, and so on. When a hand from the participant’s ingroup was stabbed with a needle, their brain’s pain-response areas lit up like fireworks. But when an outgroup hand was stabbed? You guessed it. No shits were given.
This isn’t just about religion—it’s a universal quirk of the human brain. Whether the dividing line is sports teams or political parties, we naturally care more about “our people” and discount the suffering of “them.”
Escaping the Reality Trap
So, how do we stop mistaking our narrow perspective for universal truth? Start by admitting your brain is biased. It’s not a flaw; it’s just the default setting. The trick is to work around it.
Take orchestras, for example. Back in the day, they realized biases about gender and race were affecting auditions. The solution? Blind auditions, where musicians performed behind a screen. Suddenly, the music—not the musician’s appearance—became the only factor, and the results were revolutionary.
Another strategy is learning how dehumanization works so you can resist it. Propaganda, for instance, often associates outgroups with something repulsive—a tactic known as “moral pollution.” Think about it: once a group is smeared as dirty or dangerous, weak-ass snowflakes or crazy fascists, people are less willing to listen to them or treat them as equals. Understanding this trick helps you see through it.
Finally, build bridges by finding shared interests. Studies show that when we discover commonalities with someone—whether it’s a love for surfing or a shared disdain for pineapple on pizza—it’s easier to connect. That connection makes it less likely to write them off when we inevitably hit a disagreement.
Building a Bigger, Better Reality
The truth is, your internal model of reality is a cobbled-together guess, not a masterpiece. But it’s not set in stone. By recognizing your biases, learning to resist dehumanization, and forging connections across divides, you can stretch the boundaries of your mental world.
Travel, read, have uncomfortable conversations, trip hard through the use of planes or psychedelics—do whatever it takes to let new perspectives sneak into your frame. The more we expand our understanding, the closer we get to building a reality that’s not just more accurate but also more compassionate. And who knows? We might just end up with a world where people, no matter their political, religious, pizza, or superhero preferences, come together and, well, live the life I’m fortunate enough to experience with my students from around the world.
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