Wow what a powerful post. I’m grateful for the tag so I got the chance to read it.
I will get to the encouragment but I just wanna say first that wow it must suck.
For the past couple of years I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning and no matter how much I swam upwards I kept being swept down and your story, written in the midst of that suffocation, feels quite similar.
There’s a word in Swedish that comes to mind: efterklok which means “wise in the aftermath”. One day all this will make sense even if it feels really heavy right now.
I think, to return to the business side of things, that the problem with much of these business gurus (and I write about this in my book for example), is that much of what they say is hard to directly apply to artistry. Because there’s another level and depth of sensitivity involved (not just for the creator but for the consumer too).
The bar is tremendously high and we don’t accept to churn out unrepresentable stuff, which (sorry for the generalization), I feel many in business don’t give an f* about.
I can only speak from my own experience, but the day everything clicked for me with selling and marketing my things was when I reframed my offering to place the consumer/reader/collector etc at the centre of the story rather than myself. Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t write about myself or make art that is meaningful to me (clearly I do!) but in the selling I tried to reframe how It’s valuable to someone else too. Sometimes it’s not evident for the reader so you need to spell it out and suddenly it’s like a lighting bulb…
Personal stories can be hard to look at that way because we’re so attached to them. But what if we just frame them as “by reading about these experiences it will make YOU feel xyz, which can help YOU realise xyz” (just brainstorming right now).
Last but not least, in any creative pursuit I think it’s necessary to consider multiple potential revenue streams built in one. If there’s the book, the newsletter, potential partnership, trainings, commissions, other digital products you’ve already got a potential of 6 ways to monetize the same audience….
Feel free to reach out, I’m glad to cowrite something about living without borders/feeling forever foreign as it’s my reality too (and that of my children to some extent which is why I’m very aware of how to support them as they grow).
I think you're very talented. Also I think you're a very good person. I think it's a combo that one's lucky to find.
Also, I'd love to co-create something, but I don't know what.
You can always interview me um...about stuff. Lots of it.
It might be that if about mental health which you can also interview me about lol-I'd be anonymous or something. It's cool as I can invent other name, I love names, and I'm rarely not me, so.
Rooting for you, Nolan.
PS I answered "twice a week" because I love how you write, all the formats-but obviously I'll accept whatever works for you.
As you know, I am very much NOT into toxic positivity. But the story isn't necessarily over. You're too smart and creative for this to be the end-end. But I appreciate your honesty, and your willingness to try new things! That is what it's all about, man.
It’s what a man thinks of himself that determines his fate. You have taken some pretty hard blows—incredibly undeserved ones too—both in love and art. Despondency and/or rage would be totally understandable. But, to get slightly Gogginsy on you, the only way is through. The trip from Spain to Sweden sounds a fantastic idea to get back on track. Forget everyone else, do you, and it’ll come good in the end.
Oh and hit me up with all the Sweden Qs! Plus I think you should 100% turn this into an experience for the reader who will get to come along your healing journey in real time (include some photos of your journey + perhaps voice notes of the people you meet). It can become like a real time online journal….. I’d love to read something like that!!
Last bit… sorry this got long… if you pass the Belgian Ardennes we should have coffee ☕️ and a hike 💯💯 I’m in between Brussels and Luxembourg
Ughhhhh. I am so sorry, Nolan. Every part of this update is a huge burden placed on your shoulders, and I'm so sorry it's all landing on you at the same time...
The thing about the massive amounts of of "it'll get worse before it gets awesome" literature out there is that it's usually written from people who are no longer in that position, and it is so, so, so easy to forget how it genuinely feels at the time, how utterly crushing it can be when things aren't working and hope starts evaporating like a puddle in a heatwave. We hear a lot about "false peaks" on the way to success, but the hardest emotional stories take place in the false canyons, when you can't see out, and can't see how the route will continue upwards once you've found a way to clamber out. That shit is so hard on the soul. And you're in one of those canyons right now, and it feels nothing but bad, and if you're feeling it, you're allowed to feel it and it's what a normal person feels in that situation. Including Mr Goggins, who (like the rest of us) doesn't know what you need right now.
I don't want to editorialise too much here because, well, as I said above, I don't know what you need either. But that point where your runway has run out re. income for the bills, that was me at Christmas 2021, after 11 months of growing my newsletter. At my rate of burn, I had just a few months of savings left, and I was putting out feelers for writing jobs. If I hadn't got lucky on Twitter, I would have found a p/t job or two - and I would not have seen it as a failure. Or at least, I'd have tried not to. I would just be doing what 99% of published authors do. It would be about finding the right way to keep going, evolving rather than stopping. And I bet all of us who have clawed ourselves tooth & nail over that line into becoming sustainable have had these moments, sometimes many of them. It doesn't make them suck any less, but it does mean they're a feature rather than a bug.
Anyway. I really like the cross-continent fitness challenge idea - and I have a book recommendation for you. It's "The Happiness Of Pursuit" by Chris Guillebeau: https://www.amazon.com/happiness-pursuit-finding-quest-purpose/dp/038534886X I think you'd find that pretty inspiring - and I'll also recommend the first season of "Living Adventurously" by Al Humphreys: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/living-adventurously/id1489454694 Al spent a month cycling round Yorkshire (his childhood home), sleeping mostly outdoors, and interviewing as many interesting people as he could find (plus me!) to ask them what an adventurous life means. He did a great job of it.
Sorry you're going through this. I found a lot of grace with people by having other people write articles, crossposting, and doing interviews to keep myself going even through burnout, but you have to protect your core #1.
Ah, Nolan, I'm so sorry about all of that. How shitty...
It probably won't be any comfort, but I held onto the idea of being a novelist waaaaay longer than I should've and when I decided to exit that four years ago, it was a huge relief that did eventually lead to better things.
I’m sorry you are struggling Nolan. I see the amazing advice and support you are receiving here and it’s overwhelming in its generosity and kindness. How lucky are we to be part of this community. You built this and that’s something to celebrate. I also want to acknowledge all the men who are being vulnerable, encouraging and supportive of you here. It’s warming my heart to see this. I know us women are pretty good at it, but I admire you and the others here for your honestly and for lifting each other up. Wishing you all the best with your next steps.
Nolan, I’m so sorry that you’re churning through turbulent waters. You know I went on a continental journey to make sense of a long season of loss and to turn toward what was next. I gather you your journey could be similarly “pilgrimage” in whatever meaning that may have. You’ve been offered tremendous support here in comments and seem to be well on your way even as you’re in difficult times. If my experience of pilgrimage can be of any support to you, please do not hesitate to reach out. What may seem like a bottom is a beginning. Wishing you ease and sending love, Renée
My heart goes out to you! I will gladly support again as you continue on your journey.
I myself had a setback recently which kicked me in the butt too. I had been working on a few content sites for a decade now, and apart from a short time of "success" aka bringing in sufficient amount of money, they plateau and then plunged and never recovered, and I had been stubbornly hanging on for few years now until recently I realize, hey, I should just let go and pursue what I always really wanted to do - write and find my voice among the sea of amazing writers.
The difference for me is I never fully left my day job, so I'm still floating by. I can't say myself if I would have done better if I hadn't had this safety net, who knows?
Anyway, I would love to collaborate in writing, I'm also exploring the themes of feeling foreign in my homeland and now in a foreign land. Let me get back to you when I think of a good topic. You ping me too if you can think of one :)
I really appreciate your vulnerability and honesty here, Nolan. There's some glitch in the poll that isn't letting me vote even though I'm subscribed, but for what it's worth, I'm here for the raw personal stories!!
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing all this with me. And I’ll definitely message you once I have some more ideas for collaborating. I look forward to it!
Wow what a powerful post. I’m grateful for the tag so I got the chance to read it.
I will get to the encouragment but I just wanna say first that wow it must suck.
For the past couple of years I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning and no matter how much I swam upwards I kept being swept down and your story, written in the midst of that suffocation, feels quite similar.
There’s a word in Swedish that comes to mind: efterklok which means “wise in the aftermath”. One day all this will make sense even if it feels really heavy right now.
I think, to return to the business side of things, that the problem with much of these business gurus (and I write about this in my book for example), is that much of what they say is hard to directly apply to artistry. Because there’s another level and depth of sensitivity involved (not just for the creator but for the consumer too).
The bar is tremendously high and we don’t accept to churn out unrepresentable stuff, which (sorry for the generalization), I feel many in business don’t give an f* about.
I can only speak from my own experience, but the day everything clicked for me with selling and marketing my things was when I reframed my offering to place the consumer/reader/collector etc at the centre of the story rather than myself. Now that doesn’t mean that I don’t write about myself or make art that is meaningful to me (clearly I do!) but in the selling I tried to reframe how It’s valuable to someone else too. Sometimes it’s not evident for the reader so you need to spell it out and suddenly it’s like a lighting bulb…
Personal stories can be hard to look at that way because we’re so attached to them. But what if we just frame them as “by reading about these experiences it will make YOU feel xyz, which can help YOU realise xyz” (just brainstorming right now).
Last but not least, in any creative pursuit I think it’s necessary to consider multiple potential revenue streams built in one. If there’s the book, the newsletter, potential partnership, trainings, commissions, other digital products you’ve already got a potential of 6 ways to monetize the same audience….
Feel free to reach out, I’m glad to cowrite something about living without borders/feeling forever foreign as it’s my reality too (and that of my children to some extent which is why I’m very aware of how to support them as they grow).
I think you're very talented. Also I think you're a very good person. I think it's a combo that one's lucky to find.
Also, I'd love to co-create something, but I don't know what.
You can always interview me um...about stuff. Lots of it.
It might be that if about mental health which you can also interview me about lol-I'd be anonymous or something. It's cool as I can invent other name, I love names, and I'm rarely not me, so.
Rooting for you, Nolan.
PS I answered "twice a week" because I love how you write, all the formats-but obviously I'll accept whatever works for you.
As you know, I am very much NOT into toxic positivity. But the story isn't necessarily over. You're too smart and creative for this to be the end-end. But I appreciate your honesty, and your willingness to try new things! That is what it's all about, man.
Hang in tight man, this too will pass. Reading and breathing and loving (and eating of course) is all that matters. Everything else is just a game.
It’s what a man thinks of himself that determines his fate. You have taken some pretty hard blows—incredibly undeserved ones too—both in love and art. Despondency and/or rage would be totally understandable. But, to get slightly Gogginsy on you, the only way is through. The trip from Spain to Sweden sounds a fantastic idea to get back on track. Forget everyone else, do you, and it’ll come good in the end.
Oh and hit me up with all the Sweden Qs! Plus I think you should 100% turn this into an experience for the reader who will get to come along your healing journey in real time (include some photos of your journey + perhaps voice notes of the people you meet). It can become like a real time online journal….. I’d love to read something like that!!
Last bit… sorry this got long… if you pass the Belgian Ardennes we should have coffee ☕️ and a hike 💯💯 I’m in between Brussels and Luxembourg
Ughhhhh. I am so sorry, Nolan. Every part of this update is a huge burden placed on your shoulders, and I'm so sorry it's all landing on you at the same time...
The thing about the massive amounts of of "it'll get worse before it gets awesome" literature out there is that it's usually written from people who are no longer in that position, and it is so, so, so easy to forget how it genuinely feels at the time, how utterly crushing it can be when things aren't working and hope starts evaporating like a puddle in a heatwave. We hear a lot about "false peaks" on the way to success, but the hardest emotional stories take place in the false canyons, when you can't see out, and can't see how the route will continue upwards once you've found a way to clamber out. That shit is so hard on the soul. And you're in one of those canyons right now, and it feels nothing but bad, and if you're feeling it, you're allowed to feel it and it's what a normal person feels in that situation. Including Mr Goggins, who (like the rest of us) doesn't know what you need right now.
I don't want to editorialise too much here because, well, as I said above, I don't know what you need either. But that point where your runway has run out re. income for the bills, that was me at Christmas 2021, after 11 months of growing my newsletter. At my rate of burn, I had just a few months of savings left, and I was putting out feelers for writing jobs. If I hadn't got lucky on Twitter, I would have found a p/t job or two - and I would not have seen it as a failure. Or at least, I'd have tried not to. I would just be doing what 99% of published authors do. It would be about finding the right way to keep going, evolving rather than stopping. And I bet all of us who have clawed ourselves tooth & nail over that line into becoming sustainable have had these moments, sometimes many of them. It doesn't make them suck any less, but it does mean they're a feature rather than a bug.
Anyway. I really like the cross-continent fitness challenge idea - and I have a book recommendation for you. It's "The Happiness Of Pursuit" by Chris Guillebeau: https://www.amazon.com/happiness-pursuit-finding-quest-purpose/dp/038534886X I think you'd find that pretty inspiring - and I'll also recommend the first season of "Living Adventurously" by Al Humphreys: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/living-adventurously/id1489454694 Al spent a month cycling round Yorkshire (his childhood home), sleeping mostly outdoors, and interviewing as many interesting people as he could find (plus me!) to ask them what an adventurous life means. He did a great job of it.
Sorry you're going through this. I found a lot of grace with people by having other people write articles, crossposting, and doing interviews to keep myself going even through burnout, but you have to protect your core #1.
Ah, Nolan, I'm so sorry about all of that. How shitty...
It probably won't be any comfort, but I held onto the idea of being a novelist waaaaay longer than I should've and when I decided to exit that four years ago, it was a huge relief that did eventually lead to better things.
I'm sure you'll find your way too....
I’m sorry you are struggling Nolan. I see the amazing advice and support you are receiving here and it’s overwhelming in its generosity and kindness. How lucky are we to be part of this community. You built this and that’s something to celebrate. I also want to acknowledge all the men who are being vulnerable, encouraging and supportive of you here. It’s warming my heart to see this. I know us women are pretty good at it, but I admire you and the others here for your honestly and for lifting each other up. Wishing you all the best with your next steps.
Nolan, I’m so sorry that you’re churning through turbulent waters. You know I went on a continental journey to make sense of a long season of loss and to turn toward what was next. I gather you your journey could be similarly “pilgrimage” in whatever meaning that may have. You’ve been offered tremendous support here in comments and seem to be well on your way even as you’re in difficult times. If my experience of pilgrimage can be of any support to you, please do not hesitate to reach out. What may seem like a bottom is a beginning. Wishing you ease and sending love, Renée
My heart goes out to you! I will gladly support again as you continue on your journey.
I myself had a setback recently which kicked me in the butt too. I had been working on a few content sites for a decade now, and apart from a short time of "success" aka bringing in sufficient amount of money, they plateau and then plunged and never recovered, and I had been stubbornly hanging on for few years now until recently I realize, hey, I should just let go and pursue what I always really wanted to do - write and find my voice among the sea of amazing writers.
The difference for me is I never fully left my day job, so I'm still floating by. I can't say myself if I would have done better if I hadn't had this safety net, who knows?
Anyway, I would love to collaborate in writing, I'm also exploring the themes of feeling foreign in my homeland and now in a foreign land. Let me get back to you when I think of a good topic. You ping me too if you can think of one :)
Let's keep writing. Don't give up!
I really appreciate your vulnerability and honesty here, Nolan. There's some glitch in the poll that isn't letting me vote even though I'm subscribed, but for what it's worth, I'm here for the raw personal stories!!
You haven’t “failed”. There are boulders along the way, and potholes. Sometimes, for all kinds of reasons, it’s hard to climb over and out.
You’re a damn good writer.
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing all this with me. And I’ll definitely message you once I have some more ideas for collaborating. I look forward to it!